‘Tin Lizzies’ boast numerous human qualities

'Tin Lizzies' boast numerous human qualities By Bob Karolevitz A dwindling number of us remember the old Ford Model T before it was succeeded in 1927 by the Model A.

The "Tin Lizzie," as it was called, was the subject of endless jokes � while Henry Ford laughed all the way to the bank. Now it's being compared to the aging human body. The similarities, unfortunately, are not far off.

Here are some of them:

Our headlights are getting dim.

We run out of gas quickly.

Our wheels are wobbly and our tires could stand a retread.

We have a spare tire but it's in the wrong place.

We have no shock absorbers and our springs have sprung.

Our radiator doesn't hold as much and has developed a slow leak.

Our upholstery is showing signs of wear and the padding has shifted. It also has a lot of wrinkles it didn't have before.

Our top is wearing thin, and we could use a new paint job.

Some paint of the original equipment has been removed because it just plain stopped working.

While a few of those comparisons hit pretty close to home, I'd like to think that I'm more of a Ford Taurus than a Model T.

Columnists these days are getting lots of mileage out of the lead-in line which goes, "You know you're getting older when …" I've been saving a few of those pithy comments for a slow week like this one. They were all pilfered from one place to another.

You look forward to a dull evening.

Your knees buckle but your belt won't.

A dripping faucet causes an uncontrollable bladder urge.

You get winded playing checkers or dialing a long-distance number.

Your children begin to look middle-aged and even bishops look young.

You're still chasing women but you can't remember why.

Your back goes out more than you do.

Everyone you meet reminds you of someone you once knew.

You feel like the night before, and you haven't been anywhere.

Your little black book contains mostly names ending in M.D., and your medicine cabinet is full.

Your favorite part of the newspaper is "50 years ago today."

You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.

You know all the answers but nobody asks you the questions.

I suppose those � and the Model T comparisons � are truisms, but I've discovered that it's a lot healthier to "think young." And that's what I'll be doing, even though my frame is in bad shape and my starter is not too dependable.

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