It’s difficult to turn a new dietary leaf

It's difficult to turn a new dietary leaf by Bob Karolevitz Judging from what I read in the papers and magazines these days, we'd all be better off if we put away our knives and forks to graze like cows and browse like goats.

Grass is not my favorite food, and neither are tree leaves, but you'd think from the diet-book writers we're supposed to eat like ruminants. Frankly, I'm more of a carnivore myself.

I prefer not to get my calories from chlorophyll!

Phyllis, on the other hand, is a disciple of the balanced diet. She believes in the four food groups; and, consequently, I get a little of this and a little of that on my plate at meal-time.

Methinks, though, that she's beginning to lean a little towards the fruit and vegetable side. Now don't get me wrong. I'm not anti-broccoli or opposed to Popeye's spinach, but every now and than I like to sink my teeth into something solid.

After all, in the process of evolution, didn't we develop incisors to tear the meat off a dinosaur bone?

Just because I've added about 40 pounds to my Army weight in the past half century, she's convinced that I bulge a lot in the wrong places. That's why she's been after me to turn over a new leaf � a lettuce leaf, that is!

For an old meat-and-potatoes man, that's not my idea of livin'. Now, to add to my problem, she's discovered a new program based on color.

Each day i'm supposed to get peas and beans from the green group, tomatoes and beets from the red, raisins and grape juice from the blue-purple and carrots and winter squash from the orange-yellow.

You'll notice that there isn't a white category for milk, bread and potatoes. Or a brownish one for meat and not a thing for us chocoholics!

Next thing you know, I'll be eating Crayolas to get the proper pigment in my system. I'm kidding, of course.

Thank goodness Phyllis has been using the natural way to get me to slim down. She hasn't resorted to all those questionable pills or fad diets to get the job done.

Oh, we did try one of those ad-promoted regimens once, but about all we learned was that dieting sure improves the appetite.

Back in the old days B.C. (Before Cholesterol) when we didn't know anything about low-calorie fats, we were a lot less conscience-stricken when we ate. We also didn't read the labels much. We didn't know how cold we were either until somebody came up with the wind-chill factor.

I suppose it's all part of that thing called progress, but there are times I'd like to turn back the calendar to the more carefree days when we weren't bombarded with so much worrisome information.

By the way, Phyllis has been talking about more exercising for me, too. Ever since she started riding her bicycle down the lane, she's been after me to get off my chair and walk a mile or two every day. That's worse than her color grouping.

I tell her I'm saving up my energy until the snow flies. Then she'll be putting her bicycle away for the winter, and I begin shoveling.

That should whet up the old appetite for more than a watercress salad.

© 2001 Robert F. Karolevitz

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