Make a statement � wear a T-shirt by Bob Karolevitz It used to be that T-shirts were just wearing apparel. The same goes for sweatshirts.
Now, however, if they don�t have a message or a clever saying on them, they�re fit for the rag bag.
For instance, Phyllis has a sweatshirt which says, �No Outfit Is Complete Without Cat Hairs.� But she also likes the one that brags, �I�m the Queen, That�s Why!�
Among the T-shirt epigrams I�ve collected are some for me, like �I Do What the Voice in My Wife�s Head Tells Me to Do.� And �I�m Out of Bed and Dressed. What More Do You Want?�
There are nuptials and family ones, too, such as �The Most Difficult Days of Marriage Are Those Following the Wedding.� Or �My Family is Like Fudge: Mostly Sweet with a Few Nuts.� Or �Mothers of Little Boys Work from Son-Up Till Son-Down.�
The subject matter also includes dictums as �What Part of ?You Don�t Get It� Don�t You Get?� and �I�m Having a Nice Day, Don�t Screw It Up!�
Oh, there are many others which I have added to my collection; here are just a few of them:
�A Balanced Diet is a Cookie in Each Hand.�
�Behind Every Great Woman is Herself.�
�I�m So Cute I Must Be Irish.� (Or add your own ethnic derivation.)
�Life Is Too Short to Drink Bad Wine.�
�I Cleaned My House Last Week. Sorry You Missed It.�
�I Put Ketchup on My Ketchup.�
�Stressed Spelled Backwards Is Desserts.�
�A Cheap Thrill Is Still A Thrill.�
�Drink Coffee. Do Stupid Things with More Energy.�
�Official Dog-Walker. Frequent Stops.�
�I Know I Came into this Room for a Reason.�
�I Think, Therefore I Get a Headache.�
�At My Age ?Getting Lucky� is Finding My Car In the Parking Lot.�
�Let Me Guess, Your Parents Are Cousins.�
�It�s Not Easy Being a Princess.� (or King or Queen or President.)
�If People Were More Interesting, I Wouldn�t Be Talking to Myself.�
�I Fought the Lawn and the Lawn Won.�
�I Used to Care, But Now I Take a Pill for That.�
�I Can Only Make One Person Happy Each Day. I Pick Me!�
(Front) �Sometimes I Wake Up Grumpy.� (Back) �Other Times I Let Him Sleep.�
Of course there are X-rated ones and some which don�t make sense at all. Needless to say, I overlook those. And in this day and age there are the military slogans and patriotic mottoes.
However, high on my list of favorites is a prayer which says, �Lord, Keep Your Arm on My Shoulder and Your Hand Over My Mouth.�
That�s the T-shirt I�d like to own.
� 2003 Robert F. Karolevitz