Cleaning fridge – it's a holiday not a chore by Bob Karolevitz Did you know that November 14 is National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day?
That November 17 is Homemade Bread Day? November 23 is National Cashew Day, and November 26 is National Cake Day?
In my naivete I always thought the month only had Armistice Day and Thanksgiving � but not any more. The four weeks-plus are crammed with promotional gimmicks, the brainchilds of public relations people in their ivory-towered cubicles.
They�ve thought up National Deviled Egg Day, Sandwich Day (with mayonnaise), National Candy Day, Button Day and Take a Hike Day, ad nauseam.
(Incidentally, Nov. 11 is still Armistice Day for me. That�s in honor of my late father who served in a Tank Corps battalion in the Meuse-Argonne campaign and other combat actions during World War I. But I digress.)
I�ll be celebrating National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day on the 14th, and I�ll be preparing for it even though I�ll be flirting with obesity in the process.
For instance, to be ready for it I�ve got to finish the half gallon of ice cream, the quart of chocolate milk, six kinds of cheese, a package of brats, two frozen pizzas and jars of pickled herring and pigs� feet (with extra sodium) before it�s over.
There�s also a small box of nougats I squirreled away during National Candy Day on the fourth � and then promptly forgot.
In my sleuthing I found stuck away in the far corners of our refrigerator a half-empty jar of mint jelly (I couldn�t remember that last time we had leg �o lamb), after-dinner mints, more jam (with a film of mold on top), a squeeze-bottle of mustard, an overlooked jar of dill pickles, olives, maraschino cherries, horseradish and other miscellaneous condiments.
I suppose National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day was actually meant to get rid of all of those plastic containers of left-overs we�ve hoarded in the name of conservancy. We�ve got little dabs of potato salad, pork �n beans, coleslaw and custard, all encased in cartons which hide the contents unless we pry off the lids.
Don�t tell Phyllis, but in my searching I also discovered something unidentifiable in one of the boxes which probably should be thrown out.
Of course there are all kinds of health foods in our refrigerator which she says are good for me: like celery and apples, lots of grapes, kiwis, carrots and salad greens. These are all in their proper drawers, and my wife has informed me that I should keep my hands off them.
The same goes for a package of Philadelphia cream cheese and some chopped-up pecans which she tells me are going into a baking recipe.
All in all, our ice box (I still call it that) is relatively free of mildewed stuff, obviously the target of the national day.
When I took my inventory, Phyllis huffed: �What are you doing in MY kitchen?�
That means, of course, that I won�t be going through her spice cabinet to see what should be eliminated.
Now that I think of it, I wonder if National Spice Day is scheduled for some time in December?
� 2003 Robert F. Karolevitz