You can teach an old dog new adages by Bob Karolevitz Through the years I�ve collected new versions of old adages. Some I even thought up myself.
Here are some of those up-dated axioms:
A stitch in time � saves embarrassment.
Hell hath no fury � like the lawyer of a woman scorned.
People who live in glass houses � should dress in the dark. Or
People who live in glass houses � don�t have much of a sex life. Or
People who live in glass houses � should have a cleaning lady who does windows.
Early to bed and early to rise � and the gals go out with the other guys.
A bird in the hand � is the best way to eat chicken.
Eat, drink and be merry � and you�ll wind up as a fat, grinning drunk.
Better be safe than � pregnant.
A penny saved � ain�t worth much.
If at first you don�t succeed � quit! Or
If at first you don�t succeed � try shortstop. Or
If at first you don�t succeed � don�t try sky-diving.
Never under-estimate the power � of termites.
Don�t bite the hand � that�s dirty.
It�s always darkest before � Daylight Saving Time.
Strike while the � other guy has his guard down.
You can�t teach a dog � new math.
A fool and his money � are what you want in a poker game.
All work and no play � makes a housewife.
He who laughs last � doesn�t get it. Or
He who laughs last � lasts!
A penny for your thoughts � means they�re not worth much.
A miss is as good as � a Mr.
Where there�s smoke, there�s � tobacco.
You can lead a horse to water, but can�t make him � swim.
He who marries for money � should be ready for the IRS.
Cast your bread upon the water � and you get back soggy bread.
It�s more blessed to give than to receive � especially kittens.
Familiarity breeds contempt � and children.
The early bird gets the worm � who was up early, too.
Now that you have had a sampling of my collection, do you have a few to add?
� 2004 Robert F. Karolevitz
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