It's tough to bid farewell at an auction by Bob Karolevitz Planning for an auction sale is about as exciting as a root canal without anesthetic.
I've said our 54-year-old marriage would not survive another wallpapering session together; now I think I can add auction sales to the list.
It wouldn�t be so bad if we had just a few pieces of furniture to sell, but we've got a lifetime accumulation of "stuff" that we've got to get rid of.
We've got boxes and boxes and boxes of knick knacks which we don�t know what to do with. Believe me, our cup runneth over and over!
Phyllis says I've been a pack rat, and now I can see why. Besides the junque hanging on our walls and cluttering up the shelves in the house, I�ve got buckets of nails, screws, washers, hinges, springs, buttons, braces and bits in the garage.
I think I invented the phrase "too numerous to mention"!
I suppose other families have gone through this and survived, but this is the first – and last – time for us.
It started with multiple trips to the store to get cartons. There's never enough. I�ve boxed enough books to start a library � and there�s still more to go. A lot of them fit into the research category. They�ve done their job for me, and now they just take up shelf space (my wife keeps telling me).
Then there are history books unending, books about golf, humor tomes and fiction – which I intended to read but don�t. Phyllis thinks I should get rid of them all.
"You don't make speeches any more, so why do you need those jokes?" she questions. "And you quit playing pasture pool a couple of years ago, so those golf books are just a reminder of days gone by."
She sure knows how to hurt a guy!
Who knows? I just may need The Collector's Encyclopedia of Buttons, Beer and Brewing in America, Japanese Flower Arrangements and the revised edition of Sheep Science.
But they've got to go, along with Hoyle's Book of Games, The Filmgoer's Companion, The Four Wheel Drive Story, The Insect Book and The Ladies of the White House. Future columns be danged.
I never wanted an auction; strangers rummaging through our intimate items, but they tell me it's the best way to dispose of the past. I guess I�ll just have to grin and bear it.
I suppose my first priority is to save our happy home. Getting ready for a sale puts a strain on our relationship, I'll admit, but then Phyllis and I have struggled through lots of things that were worse.
However, I still don't think our marriage would survive another wallpapering project.
� 2005 Robert F. Karolevitz