Didja think he’d get through the year without didjas?

Didja think he'd get through the year without didjas?
It's the end of the year, so it seems like a good time to write (or steal) another Didja column.

This is the seventh edition of collected bon mots. If I keep it up, it'll be the 38th book for me, a pilfered treasury of witticisms which I filched through the years.

  • Didja know that no child throws up in the bathroom?

  • Didja know that there are no lifeguards in a car pool?

  • Didja know that when a man gets too big for his britches, his hat won't fit either?

  • Didja hear about the guy who quit eating Thanksgiving leftovers? He quit cold turkey.

  • Didja know that a truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour?

  • Didja know the three best things about Heaven are Location, Location, Location?

  • Didja know that Tootsie Rolls were named after the daughter of the man who introduced them? Her nickname was Tootsie. And the Baby Ruth candy bar was named after President Grover Cleveland's daughter, not the famous baseball player, Babe Ruth?

  • Didja know that bills travel through the mails at twice the speed of checks?

  • Didja know that Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life?

  • Didja know that a clear conscience is usually a sign of a bad memory?

  • Didja know that a small town is where you don't use your turn signals because everyone knows where you're going? And both the signs for Entering and Leaving are on the same post?

  • Didja know that people smart enough to give advice usually are smart enough not to?

  • Didja know that few men can fool their wives as easily as they did their mothers?

  • Didja know that campfire smoke only blows in one direction � yours?

  • Didja know that a lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math?

  • Didja know that anybody can go to Heaven on a tombstone?

  • Didja know that an alarm clock is a small mechanism used to wake people who have no children?

  • Didja know that a little learning is a dangerous thing, but a lot of ignorance is worse?

  • Didja know that a conscience is what hurts when all other parts feel good?

  • Didja know that wood-carvers grow old whittle by whittle?

  • Didja know that people who say they sleep like a baby don't have one?

  • Didja know that if you swallow your pride, it's non-fattening?

  • Didja know that writing free verse is like playing tennis with the net down?

  • Didja know that love is like a mushroom? You never know whether it's the real thing until it's too late?

    And that's all the Didjas until the next time!

    � 2005 Robert F. Karolevitz

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