Time device facilitates discourse with prehistoric human

Time device facilitates discourse with prehistoric human
Technology is wonderful. It allows me through the Reverse Tim Machine to have these conversations with Oog, the Neanderthal caveman.

W-A-L: "Are you making any New Year's resolutions?"

Oog: "Resolutions? What's that?"

W-A-L: "It's something you plan to do – or avoid doing in the next 52 weeks. It's like a vow."

Oog: "Well since you put it that way, I vow never to face a saber-tooth tiger with these weapons – or to have the animal make a meal out of me. I would taste bad."

W-A-L: "What are your weapons of mass destruction?"

Oog: "Sticks and stones, and the spear I invented in case I get close enough to use it."

W-A-L: "That sounds like something the Iraqis are fighting our tanks with."

Oog: "I don't know about them. All I know is that a well -aimed stone will knock a pterodactyl pretty silly. At least close enough so I could use my spear. I love those drumsticks!"

W-A-L: "To change the subject, have you heard of Donald Rumsfeld? He's been removed as our secretary of defense, and a lot of people are happy about that."

Oog: "Rummy, Strummy… We've got a guy over in the next cave we don't like, either. But let's keep politics out of this!"

W-A-L: "I agree with you there. We've got more politics than we can handle. By the way, isn't that a strange looking plant over there?"

Oog: "Yes, we've got lots of them. They're full of some kind of oil. Our scientists, Mr. Macawca, says he's got an experiment going, but there isn't any market for what he calls ethanol."

W-A-L: "Wow! That's a subject I think I know something about. You can us it in your car to eliminate air pollution."

Oog: "We've invented the wheel, but we haven't gotten around to the automobile yet. Mr. Macawca hit a snag when he tried to make a carburetor out of rocks."

W-A-L: "Apparently ethanol will be part of the farm bill our legislators are working on. Agriculture could use a shot in the arm here, couldn't it?"

Oog: "I told you to keep politics out of this. Next thing I know. you'll be asking what we're doing about global warming."

W-A-L: "You've hit the nail on the head – to coin a cliche�. I was going to ask you about how you're handling the threat of global warming."

Oog: "That isn't a problem for us. We haven't got aerosol cans yet either, and automobile smog is something for you to handle. We've got enough trouble with tyranasarus rex. My spears are worthless with him."

W-A-L: "What about a dress code for students?"

Oog: " A leopard skin was good enough for me. The kids may want sable, but the budget doesn't cover that."

W-A-L: "The educational budget is a dilemma we've given our legislators. What are you going to do about that?"

Oog: "Politics again! Since you keep bringing it up, this interview is over. Turn off the *#$$#!!+! Time Machine!"

W-A-L: "I was going to ask you who's going to win the Super Bowl, but that will have to wait until next time."

Oog: "I like the Chicago Bears and the San Diego Chargers, and I… [Click]

© 2006 Robert F. Karolevitz

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