Improving the holiday season past

Improving the holiday season past
I've got some suggestions for improving the holiday season past.

By and large, it's okay, but – according to me – it could use a little fixing.

Take the music, for instance. Every one of the so-called stars has to do his or her version of a carol or patriotic song, complete with all the wiggling or gyrations of a caterpillar on a high.

Whatever happened to a legitimate Silent Night or America the Beautiful?

That goes, too, for the scantily clad dancing girls each pro football team employs. Believe me, I'm not too old for that sort of thing, but I don't think they have any idea what goes on in the game. They just smile and look pretty, hoping some talent scout will see them and be impressed.

Now the holiday turkey is being replaced as the centerpiece of the meal. I can see artist Norman Rockwell painting the carving of the family pizza while the hungry kinsmen look in eager anticipation.

Frankly, I like leftovers! So let's keep the old gobbler on the holiday menu.

I don't feel the same about all those crazy salad gimmicks the gals are coming up with these days, carrots and celery are for rabbits, and not mixed up with Jello!

While I'm at it, I'll take up the matter of clothing, too. Minnesota Vikings and Nebraska Cornhusker jackets are not church apparel. And neither are the short shorts too many girls wear to services these days. That's not a holiday thing, although it happens more when we celebrate.

During the celebrations of Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years, I like to watch television more – and that's when they double up their advertising. I don't mind it when they have humorous segments, but mostly it is automobiles going through mudholes or being on mountain where no self-respecting car would be.

And speaking of advertising, the postman must get a hernia from carrying all those catalogs which cram our mailbox. They offer everything from leakproof underwear for men or non-chafing bras for women. And they keep coming, too!

I would cut them off if I had my way – and I'd also put a moratorium on Christmas cars that merely have a signature and no information about the family.

I like it when I get caught up to date about kids I don't even know – and jobs which take people to far-away places. I don't even mind a health report now and then because that tells me how folks are faring.

These and other changes I would make if I had my way. The holiday season is too full of fun stuff to be burdened with things you can do without.

Like those gosh-awful address stickers – with our name spelled wrong – which all the "no new ideas" fund-seeking minions send us at the end of December.

Happy New Year!

© 2007 Robert F. Karolevitz

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