World’s worst dog a best-seller

World's worst dog a best-seller
I've been reading a book about the world's worst dog.

It's a story of "Marley & Me," Marley being an incorrigible Labrador pooch who eats red carnations (and other things), drinks from the toilet, is kicked out of obedience school and worms his way – despite misgiving – into the hearts of his owners John and Jenny Grogan.

I had a dog like that once, but I wasn't smart enough to get it on the New York Times best-seller list.

But, then, Doc – his name – was not lovable like Marley, and I would have to stretch the truth – which I never do!

According to the book jacket, Marley was "a wiggly yellow fur ball of a puppy" who grew into a 97-pound retriever (who wouldn't retrieve).

He was a dog like no other. "He crashed through screen doors … flung drool on guests, stole women's under garments and ate nearly everything he could get his mouth around."

The tranquilizers the veterinarian prescribed for him did no good; neither did his brief exposure to the disciplinary action of the obedience school.

A chapter which tells about Grogan's going through the dog's poop to find a gold necklace which Marley had swallowed is "must" reading – and laughing. (He uses the word poop quite liberally throughout the book because no other word adequately describes Marley's droppings.)

But despite his craziness, the dog is pure of heart and is "a model of devotion, even when his family was at wit's end," the blurb on the jacket says).

About the time I was reading "Marley & Me," we received an e-mail of doggy quotes which seem somehow apropos. (I say "we" because Phyllis handles all the computer stuff.) Anyhow, I'll share some of the saying with you, courtesy of my wife:

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful." (Ann Landers)

"The average dog is nicer than the average person." (Andy Rooney)

"The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue." (Anonymous)

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face." (Ben Williams)

"If your dog is fat, it means that you aren't getting enough exercise." (Anonymous)

"I wonder if other dogs (like Marley) think poodles are members of a weird religious cult?" (Rita Rudner)

"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance – and to turn around three times before lying down." (Robert Benchley)

"Women and cats do as they please, so men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." (Robert A. Heinlain)

"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went." (Will Rogers)

Those adages all make sense, and I'm sure Marley – in all his rambunctiousness – would agree. I know that I do!

©2007 Robert F. Karolevitz

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