A time without matches or Boy Scouts…

A time without matches or Boy Scouts…
It's time to get out my old Reverse Time Machine to see what my friend Oog, the Caveman, is doing these days and to ask him a couple questions.

I found him trying to start a fire by hitting two stones together and he wasn't having any luck.

WAL: Hi, Oog, I just dropped by from 2007 A.D., to check on you, and I find you banging a couple of rocks together. Why don't you just use a match and quit making like a Boy Scout?

Oog: What's a match, and what's a Boy Scout?

WAL: A match is a fire stick, and a Boy Scout is somebody you'd understand. He's a 21st century "caveman" who could teach you a thing or two, like starting a fire or tying a bunch of fancy knots.

Oog: Hmmm, I've got no use for knots – whatever they are – unless they could help me tie down the missus. But I sure could use some help with this blankety blank fire.

WAL: Fine. I'll send you an eagle on my Reserve Time Machine.

Oog: I don't need an eagle flying about. We've got plenty of pterodactyls here for that.

WAL: An eagle is a high ranking Boy Scout with lots of merit badges, and he would know what to do.

Oog: Merit badges? What's that?

WAL: They tell you what he's good at. He has to pass a test to get one.

Oog: Well, I'll give him a test all right. He'll be the only one with a brontosaurus badge.

WAL: I'm sure he'd like that. Even the scout masters don't have one of those. What will you have him do?

Oog: First we'll catch a brontosaurus. Then we'll train it to do tricks. After that he can show me how to start this #$%!!&* fire.

WAL: I think it would take the whole troop to catch one of those big dumb animals. I doubt if my Reverse Time Machine could get all of the Boy Scouts there.

Oog: I just want the eagle. If he's as good as you say he is, that's all I'd need. By the way, do you suppose he'd know anything about this wheel I'm trying to make? Should it be square or round?

WAL: Even a tenderfoot could tell you it should be round. You don't need an eagle for that. It would insult his intelligence.

Oog: I guess Boy Scouts are more evolved than I am.

WAL: Yes, they are modern American young men who are light-years ahead of you. But I didn't come here to discuss Boy Scouts. I just wanted to know how you Neanderthals were doing, that's all.

Oog: We're doing just fine, thank you; but I wish I could get this fire lit.

WAL: You won't get it done that way, unless one of those rocks is flint. You'd be better off using a match.

Oog: That's what started this discussion in the first place. Can I fix you a woolly mammoth sandwich?

WAL: No. I think I'll just go back to 2007 A.D. if you don't mind. A pizza would taste better.

Oog: What's a pizza?

© 2007 Robert F. Karolevitz

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