Writing column is a two-person job

Writing column is a two-person job Writer At Large Bob Karolevitz You almost didnâ�?�?t get a column from me this week. Itâ�?�?s not that I didnâ�?�?t write one â�?�? single-fingering it on my electric typewriter â�?�? but when it came time for Phyllis to do the final copy on the computer, she showed up with awkward looking bandages on her left hand. The reason was readily explainable. It seems that the tennis balls on the legs of my walker â�?�? yes it has come to that â�?�? were worn out, and my â�?�?caretakerâ�? decided to do something about it. She went to the store and bought a couple of balls, explaining that she wanted the cheapest ones available. The clerk, not knowing her ultimate use for her purchase, tried to talk her into buying a better brand, saying it would improve her game immeasurable. She didnâ�?�?t bother to tell him what she was going to use them for. However, she held out for the cheapies and came home to prepare them for the walker. That meant cutting a couple slits in the balls to adapt them to the walkersâ�?�? legs. Trouble is she had no safety razor or other sharp tools to do the job, so she opted for grandmaâ�?�?s butcher knife. That was a big mistake! The ball turned over while she was attempting to cut it and she proceeded to slice two fingers practically to the bone. I did my best not to tell her â�?�?I told you so,â�? and I withheld my suggestion that she should apply a tourniquet around her neck to stop the bleeding. But she survived all alone, but I could see my weekly column would go unpublished â�?�? unless I typed it myself, â�?�?misteaksâ�? and all. Needless to say, she recovered enough so that she could function on the keyboard despite the gawd awful bandages on her fingers. As it turned out, Column No. 1316 became a reality although it took a couple of sliced fingers to accomplish it. It seems I need some kind of insurance to cover such emergencies, or at least I should have extra tennis balls all ready to replace the worn ones. I need the walker, but I need my wife even more! My Parkinsonâ�?�?s Look Alike isnâ�?�?t getting any better, so if my helpmate insists on maiming herself, my column is in jeopardy. Iâ�?�?ll keep going as best I can, but now that it is a two-person job, it means the second half of the equation must always be ready to go. Even if it means no tennis balls on my walker! �?© 2008 Robert F. Karolevitz

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