It’s better than collecting bedpans!

It's better than collecting bedpans! Writer at Large By Bob Karolevitz People collect the weirdest things, like false teeth, bed pans, ladyâ�?�?s underwear, rabbitâ�?�?s feet and birdâ�?�?s nests! (I remember a saloon in Skagway, AK, where the walls were covered with bed pans. The owner must have been a nurse at one time. But I digress!) Iâ�?�?m a collector, too, but I go for clever sayings â�?�? stuff that may go into a column some day. Here are some examples: â�?¢ To steal from one person is called plagiarism; to steal from many is research. â�?¢ Honk if you want peace and quiet. â�?¢ Remember that half the people you know are below average. â�?¢ The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. â�?¢ Iâ�?�?m not anti-social; Iâ�?�?m just not real friendly. â�?¢ Support bacteria; theyâ�?�?re the only culture some people have. â�?¢ When everythingâ�?�?s coming your way, you may be in the wrong lane going the wrong way. If at first you donâ�?�?t succeed, quit. â�?¢ Experience is something you donâ�?�?t get until just after you need it. â�?¢ Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. â�?¢ The hardness of the butter is directly proportionate to the softness of the bread. â�?¢ A small town is where the pickups on Main Street outnumber the cars three to one. â�?¢ Anybody can go to heaven on a tombstone. â�?¢ I started with nothing and I have most of it left. â�?¢ He who laughs last thinks slowest. â�?¢ Monday is an awful way to spend one-seventh of your life. â�?¢ A clean conscience is a sign of a bad memory. â�?¢ If you think that nobody cares, try missing a few payments. â�?¢ I couldnâ�?�?t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. â�?¢ Remember that 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. â�?¢ What did Geronimo say when he jumped out of a plane? â�?¢ No child ever throws up in the bathroom. â�?¢ Your joints are more accurate than the national weather service. â�?¢ Donâ�?�?t expect anything original from an echo. â�?¢ People who are smart enough to give advice are usually smart enough not to take it. â�?¢ A good husband understands every word his wife doesnâ�?�?t say. Itâ�?�?s better than collecting bedpans! �?© 2008 Robert F. Karolevitz

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